The anger monster

The closest rendering I could find on good ol’ Google

If my mind were a room, it would be a study. Floor-to-ceiling shelves along 3 sides, floor-to-ceiling windows facing a bright woody area along 1 side, dark mahogany wood with lots of interesting books and folders filled with paper, lots of knick knacks and art from all over the planet. There would be a large desk with a comfy leather chair behind it, and the desk would occasionally be cluttered but would have plenty of storage facilities when structure needed to be created. There would be throw pillows and a couch for curling up with a book, and Persian carpets on the floor. It would feel cozy, intellectually stimulating and safe most of the time (in times of calm and peace). It would smell like books, peppermint tea, fresh air and orange blossom.

However, when anger rolls around, it is almost like the person who enjoys this study turns into Mr Hyde from Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. In this case, Miss Hyde grows from a normal 5 foot woman to an enormous 8 foot tall monster that is filled with glee and a desire to destroy. She tears out books and folders from the normally neat shelves to find the things that she thinks will hurt the most, and leaves the room in devastation in her quest for the most awful things to do or say. 

At the end of it, Miss Hyde has destroyed the order of the room despite not breaking or tearing any of its contents, and is somehow never satisfied by the verbal weapons/strategies to hurt she has gathered. Her desire to hurt slightly diminished after quite some time rifling around the room, she shrinks a little to 6 feet, and realizes with shame that she is responsible for a mess that she must live with. Although a little released by the desire, she is still held captive by the spell for quite a while. Even though she picks up everything and puts it all back in its place, the re-organization of the room/restoration of full usage of the room takes longer than it should. As she packs things away, she finds little nuggets of awfulness that make her feel glee and tempt her into reinflating to 8 feet and acting on everything she has collected so far.

Miss Hyde can normally be kept at bay, and can be stopped from turning into the full monster. Normally, Miss Jekyll can maintain control with some difficulty. However, it almost feels like Miss Hyde, The Anger Monster, takes control and very quietly, slowly and sneakily goes around the room doing exactly as she would normally but with more awareness that she needs to keep it out of notice so that she can continue taking up residence there. In these cases, it takes a lot longer for her to accomplish what she needs, so she stays for longer. 

At some point, Miss Hyde turns back into Miss Jekyll, who is frustrated and finds that the study just isn’t 100% comfortable or easy to use because it was so recently a war zone. It takes a while, but the room starts to feel like home again, and Miss Jekyll can learn and do what she likes there peacefully and happily. She can also reflect on unhappiness in the past without getting riled up, and can assess these events with an impassive/objective eye. Or at least until Miss Hyde returns.

I feel like Miss Hyde, The Anger Monster, knows it cannot show its hand too blatantly now. Instead of acting out and leaving sooner, it stays on and continues its work for much longer because it knows it must remain under the radar. It knows it is a useless endeavour to prepare for confrontation, as Miss Jekyll has put her foot down and decided that none will happen. But its desire to plot, research and mess up the study is impossible to stop.